On Pacing Myself

my little buddy, Mikko

I'm sitting on my couch having a beer at 4:00 pm on a Friday to try and chill out after taking the cat to the vet.

This summer has not turned out as I expected, to put it mildly. After spending more time than I wanted to working 1.25 jobs last summer, I vowed this summer would be different. I would garden more, have more fun and work less.

Oh, foolish human and her little plans.

As it turns out, I'm working more than ever before. I haven't planted a single vegetable and my kitty got sick.

Yet we're surviving, and even under less than ideal circumstances, we are grabbing every moment of possible happiness.

It started when I got a new job...same company, same job function, but in a new department with a lot more responsibilities. It's a great opportunity with more interesting projects, but I've never been so challenged or worked so hard in my life.

Then the week before I started my new job, my littlest and youngest kitty (at 14 he's hardly young but...) was having problems breathing. I took him to the vet who found that he was in congestive heart failure. The vet gave me two choices: take him to the emergency vet immediately, or put him to sleep.

We took him to the emergency vet and long story short, he has advanced heart disease. But way too many vet bills later, he's doing pretty well on a regime of six pills a day. In fact, if you didn't know he was sick I don't think you'd guess it.  He's still the most active cat in our household, and eats, plays and patrols the windows as much as ever. Now I know that this could change any day though, so I'm doing my best to enjoy him while I can.

With all the stress I've been under this summer, my natural inclination is to freak out, feel sorry for myself, and retreat into sadness. And though I've had those moments, there have also been some really good moments that break through the despair:

• When my boyfriend dropped everything when I called him from the vet, told his coworkers he had to go, and drove straight to the vet when he heard about Mikko, my heart melted a little. It melted more when Mikko insisted on resting his paw on my boyfriend's palm while we sat, waiting for test results, almost like he wanted to hold the boyfriend's hand.
• The emergency vets who treated my cat and I so kindly and saved him from heart failure.
• Knowing that I have an emergency fund and don't have to make tough choices like affording the vet or paying bills
• Hearing from a long, lost friend
• The fact that my cat still follows me around and hangs out with me, despite me forcing him to take pills three times a day, taking him to the vet where he is poked and prodded and generally fussing over him nonstop.

The kitchen reno may not be going as quickly as I'd like, I may not have tomatoes growing out back and my house may be messier than usual this summer, but in the end, none of that really matters, now does it?

What are you grateful for?